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Hollow HugsDon't tell me I'm special,
Unless you mean it.
Don't whisper you love me,
Until you can scream it.
Don't make me feel happy,
And then throw me away.
Don't tell me you hate me,
Because I am gay.
Don't call me unnatural,
An abomination of God.
It's your hate, your anger,
You, that is odd.
I like boys,
And I love men,
Because I am gay;
I've always been.
Silent victory.I wore my binder to school. I made my hair more 'masculine' and wore contacts. I wore my brothers clothes . I looked like a guy.
I went to school, feeling extremely self conscious, but I kept my head high. I heard a 'Fag' and 'Dyke' here and there, but that's not unusual. So the first 3 periods were okay. Everyone knew I am biologically female, so I was still called 'Marina' and 'she, her, miss'. But when I went to 4th and 5th period, I had a sub. His name? Mr. Vanderhook. While he took role, my table full of my guy friends and I were laughing. He told us 'Young gentlemen' to stop talking. Everyone laughed and said 'Marina is a girl!'. I just smiled and nodded. But deep down inside, I was filled with joy.
I'll LieI don't want to hurt you
I hate making you cry
But there's only one way to prevent it
I'm going to have to lie
I'll lie about the loneliness
I'll lie about the pain
I'll lie about the hurt
I'll lie about the shame
I'll lie to protect you
I'll lie so you don't leave
I'll lie to keep you happy
I'll lie till you believe
It's not that I don't want your help
The fact is I really do
But that is not the point at all
The point is it will hurt you
I'm sorry it has to be this way
But I can't burden you again
'Cause if I do I'm scared
I'll lose you as a friend
Are you proud yet?I know you're not proud of me,
The choices I've made,
So why can't you leave me be?
When I'm kissing my girlfriend,
Why can't I just get a boyfriend?
When you send me to my room,
Are you proud?
When my tears drown me,
And I have nothing left to do
But turn to my knife?
Are you proud knowing you're the reason
I find my scars to be so beautiful,
Even though you tell me they're horrid.
Take a look around,
Step out of your generation.
No one else cares anymore,
Who's so disgusted by the fact
That, for once, I'm happy.
Are you proud yet?
Until Tomorrow...Rocking back and forth
Trying to contain my self control
That I barely have
"She's addicted" they say
I'm a freak of nature
How do I deal with an addiction
How do I control myself
Its the only choice I have
"I'm fine" I say
I CAN contain myself
Just rocking all alone
Refuse to speak to anyone
Except the one I love the most
Muttering to myself in the dark
Almost losing it
"Do it" they whisper
My teeth start chattering
"I can't" I manage to say
I start weeping
What is happening to me?
"You can't live without it" they whisper
Will I make it through the night
Only to go through it all again
You're Not A PoetYou’re not a poet because of strung words
Together on row upon row again
Of blank verse or perhaps liberal rhyme.
‘Slam’ all you want, other poets wonder;
Your ignorance of couplets a blunder?
Yes! I speak harshly, but it’s no gross crime,
To point with honesty failed verse of thine.
No real poet discards upper case words;
Lets prose crawl on paper like listless worms.
You seek to free verse of those stern letters,
Sever away bleak capital fetters,
But it doesn’t sing of great speech sublime,
Rather, it sneaks of writing in spare time.
Wait! before you throw me in the icy Rhine;
It’s hard to put verse together in rhyme,
To make our dull words sound great all the time,
Hear them ring out loud, like a clear clock’s chime,
Heralding a poet’s summer prime.
Yet the sacred muses weep at your crime;
Your pentameter mangled thick like slime,
The subject not gilded in raiment fine;
Your bold ink font, crystal waters divine
Tastes bitter to the ton
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More